A Solitary Life Need Not Necessarily Be A Lonely Life

Do You Live Alone? Do you enjoy the solitude? Or are you lonely?

It's likely that most of us, through divorce, death, or even choice, will find ourselves living alone at some point in our lives. And it's up to each one of us to either carve out a meaningful life for ourselves, or endure a sad, lonely existence. The choice is yours.

And whichever route you decide to take, be prepared for the fact that it's unlikely to be an easy road, particularly if you're being forced to live the solitary life through divorce or death. The transition from one existence to another (which may have been sprung upon you unexpectedly and/or against your will) requires a tremendous amount of adjustment and, so, do be prepared for feelings of loneliness to surface from time to time.

Of the two choices, I strongly urge you to make a determined effort to carve out a meaningful life for yourself so that, although it may be solitary, it will not be lonely. I know full well that this may take every bit of courage and determination that you can muster and indeed, it may sometimes feel that you're dragging these things up from your little toes. However, to choose the alternative, a sad, lonely existence, is almost guaranteed to set you on the road to isolation and depression.

So, what can you expect to encounter? Well, for example be aware that listening to lonely (or happy, for that matter) lyrics in a love song will usually heighten all sense of hurt, sadness, betrayal, etc. And know that these emotions will always take time to fade. People will tell you "it's only time" which is most likely the last thing you want to hear and simply cannot believe. Yet it is only time, because each day puts a greater distance between what happened and where you are now.

When you first find yourself on your own, it's important to allow yourself some time to "settle down" and give the unfamiliar a chance to become familiar. Regard this time as well earned "you" time and don't rush things. Take each day as it comes and don't expect too much of yourself.

When this time begins to feel like solitary confinement (and it will; your mood will rise because it's human nature) then it's the universe giving you a nudge and saying "quite the lonely heart's scene and start making plans to do things that will give your life some real meaning."

Consider taking up a new hobby; join an evening class; local drama or community group. Whatever you feel like doing - just do it. Get yourself out into the community and make new friends. Remember every new person you meet will have other friends that they can invite you to meet also. And these people will have interests with which you could get involved. And your network of friends and support group will increase.

So, remember, it's your choice as to whether or not your solitary life is a lonely one. It's all too easy to blame unhappiness on our circumstances and it's important to remember that happiness comes from within and not from external events. In other words, it's not what happens to us, it's how we react to it that makes the difference.

I urge you to make the decision now that your solitary life will not be a lonely one.